dear movies, don't try to play bonnquisha

i don't like it when people try to play me. i don't like it when so-called friends do it, i don't like it when boys do it, and i especially don't like it when movie trailers do it. i'm sure i am not the only victim of the deceiving movie trailer. i am not referring to the ones that make really awful movies look good but rather the ones that trick you into seeing a movie when it's disguised as another genre. the trailer creates expectations and then you watch the movie and think: what was da hell was that?!

example 1: precious
 i confess, i still haven't seen it (i'm just never in that mood). but i have noticed the recent trailers started to feature mary j. blige's "i'm fine" and make the film seem a bit more fun then it really is. the ceo of the small business my mom works for was tricked into thinking the movie would be appropriate for his two kids under the age of ten. luckily, the inefficient detective stepped in before he went and told him that precious is not a movie for children and he'd be better off taking them to see the blindside or the chipmunk movie.

example 2: closer
when i saw the trailers for the movie i thought, "ooh romantic drama". i figured it'd be like: oh hey, i'm married to clive owen but really in love with jude law who's with natalie portman but really in love with me, julia roberts, but ya know it will all work out in the end because true love conquers all. ( i see now this doesn't make sense at all)  but no, that movie was just fucked up, no happy ending, no true love, just some fucked up shit. i distinctly remembering that sammi and i hated it right after seeing it then we talked to other people on our way out and they hated it too! eventually, after rewatching the movie, i liked it. mainly because my expectations were totally different and i could appreciate it for what it was, a lovely reminder that love is so blah blah blah. 

example 3: inglorious basterds
so, i know with tarantino to expect the unexpected. but after all i have heard and seen, you know what i wasn't expecting...spoiler alert...this is essentially a foreign film, even when they were speaking english i didn't understand half the things brad pitt said with that wonky-ass accent. i sat there and thought oh are you for real? don't get me wrong, i have no problem with foreign films, afterall,  amelie is my go to movie when i am feeling down with the world, but damn someone could have given me a heads up. i have adhd...i have to be in the right mood/medicated to do all that reading! i understand they probably left this fun fact out of the previews in order to not scare off viewers like my dad, who fell asleep before the one hour mark, but still, you didn't have to play me like that, i would have watched the movie regardless.
in the end, i really liked the movie and my brother loved it despite that there was "not enough scalping." i will have to watch it again with mother, i imagine she will like it despite there being "too much violence" and lack of lapdances.