i was aroused, then i was furious...then i was aroused again

the jersey shore. i really thought i had seen a lot of trash tv in my lifetime. to quote the great sue sylvester, " i was aroused, then i was furious." i watched the premiere with my jaw temporarily stuck to my boobs. despite considering myself a writer, i have never been a huge grammar stickler, but even i struggled for a while with the persistent butchering of the english language and every other grammar rule in existence. i wasn't sure how to feel, was this the most disgusting two hours of television or the greatest show of my generation?

my reaction too. i know you are watching this silver fox. 

by the time the two hours had ended i made up my mind. the pros outweighed the cons. this show is a true gem. honestly, i never want this tomfuckery to end. everything from the immaculately groomed eyebrows and glossy lips, on the men of course, to the use of bumpits and zebra like hair colors is perfection. the duck phone and the nicknames, i am a sucker for nicknames. "the situation", "snooki", "sammi sweetheart", "jwwow", and the "kim kardashian of staten island" all earned spots in my heart like the liquor that coats their livers. i haven't been addicted to a show on mtv like this since i was in high school.

however, some people find this show terribly offensive to italian-americans, new jersey-ians, and humanity in general. to those people i say, STFD & STFU:

1. no one thinks these self-proclaimed "guidos & guidettes" are representative of italian-americans as a whole. every race/ethnic group has their unfavorable. latinos have chulos & chongas, white people have rednecks, black people have all those black people searching for love on vh1, the list goes on and on. and may i remind you that there are "asian guidos", "arab guidos", "greek guidos" and even "jewish guidos". i know that the term guido was an ethnic slur, but as with other derogatory terms, after a few generations, the youth, never having experienced the pain associated with the word, takes it on and gives it a whole new meaning.

the fact is, the people who fit these stereotypes do so by choice, no one forces them to be on the show, to put layers of spray tan on or blow-dry their hair to new unimaginable heights. so, to all the italian-americans who are grossly offended, as someone who is 1/8 italian (it was news to me too), i say, the only thing you can do at this point is just accept guidos/guidettes as your embarrassing cousin that you just can't take anywhere...kinda like kanye west.

2. people of new jersey, i realize only two of the cast members are actually from new jersey, thus making the ties to people of your state slightly unjust, but please shimmer down, it is a show on mtv, not exactly the source for heightened sophistication. i understand you must be still reeling from the aftermath of the real housewives of new jersey, but remember you still have the movie garden state to fairly represent you.

3. this is a reality television show!! the point is to find the most obnoxious, self-absorbed people who happen to fit a stereotype, usually by their own choice, and then put them in situations that push the limits of reality and/or absurdity. no one (in their right mind) looks to reality tv as a guide to life. yes, it is trashy, obnoxious, and at times anything but real, yet, from time to time that's exactly what viewers need. watching reality tv provides people with an easy way to escape their own lives while reminding them of how "normal" and stable they really are. reality tv is great because we can laugh at them instead of laughing at ourselves. remind us of how good we have it, except for the shows about rich people. personally, as viewer, it is effortless/mindless entertainment, after all there is only so much mad men i can watch.

in conclusion ( i feel like i've written an essay), i think people need to take the jersey shore, along with all shows in this nature, with a grain of salt. as ridiculous as their lives may seem to us it isn't as ridiculous to them. we all make lifestyle choices but not everyone's are as entertaining to watch. for most of these people/characters, they wouldn't be fun to watch by themselves or living their day life off the shore, it is the ensemble effect that creates the drama and the humor. except for snooki, i will watch her in anything. team snooki FTW!

ps. do you think the guidos realize scarface was cuban? and don't be a smart ass and tell me the original was italian b/c that is tony montana in the poster. maybe it's just a thug thing, idk.

 

the good, the bad, the fugly

it's been almost a whole month since i started blogging. this really is quite the accomplishment for me. i also finished the first rough draft of my second pilot. since i don't have a deadline, i will revise at my leisure. i had a fabulous dinner and shopping with agnes where we ate delicious red velvet cheesecake and i purchased way too much lace. she's the only person in c'ville that i can share the cinematic masterpiece, that is the room. it's been months since i've seen it. i'm going through major withdrawl.

anyways, so this week i'm going to post: the good, the bad, the fugly.

the good


is it sad that i enjoyed this more than i enjoy mad men sometimes? i love sesame street parodies. i'm not sure which one is my fav, probably "law & order" but monsterpiece theatre was amazing!!

shout out to my girl rachel!! btw- where is slimey?! he's my all time fav!

the bad
an almost perfect episode of glee was ruined by one thing. that preview for next week's glee. the wife and her fake pregnancy needs to GTFO! i can't even enjoy her funny one-liners because i am consumed with hate. if it doesn't stop, i will have to watch it on dvr and watch modern family at 9pm instead. also, just a tad annoying, can we get the songs to sync a little bit better, we know they are pre-recorded but they could make a little effort to make it look like it's not. lazy mofos

the fugly
this is a toss up between: people poorly mixing black with brown (just stop), kim's boobs last nite in real housewives (put them away), and jon gosselin (how dare you make an appearance in my dream last night).

happy weekend!

#2: will find sensible boyfriend to go out with and not continue to form romantic attachments to any of the following...

alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits or perverts.

bridget jones's diary

i spent the weekend feeling very my big fat greek wedding/ bridget jones-esque...sans hugh grant & colin firth btu with the same amount of culinary mishaps, awkwardness, & booze.

my brother admitted to wanting to set me up with some guy he knows from open mat at gymnastics but didnt after finding out he is only 20. my brother also basically told me that he needs to approve of the guy i marry and it really doesn't matter if the guy loves me as long as my bro thinks he's cool. my brother for some reason is like an old greek man who reminds me of how old i am. he loves to quote my big fat greek wedding:

"You better get married soon. You're starting to look... old!"

btw: i'm 22.

my mother also told me i need to meet someone. she was a bit more specific. over 6'2, not ugly, approved by her and my brother, nice family, good education, supports himself ("i can't support you and your boyfriend"), and not a terrorist ( i don't know why my mother thinks i'm going to marry a terrorist...she reads too many novels or something).

my dad hasn't said anything recently but i remember him telling me i didn't have to marry a greek. oh how sweet. though he said it would kill my yiayia (grandmother) if i brought home a turk.

so this sudden pressure to go and get married had me thinking, what kind of guy do i want to marry?

i guess i'm looking for someone who: is mentally stable, decently educated, doesn't want to live in virginia forever, straight, good sense of humor, no history of addiction or stalking, not intimidated by my education, no felonies, not ugly ( i can't dare to mess up the gene pool), chews with his mouth closed, good hygiene. i know some of those requirements may sound odd but that probably means i've dealt with someone like that or i know one too many people who are clearly dating a gay man. but really...i don't know. am i reaching for the stars here?

whats a cliche...a bad thing?

well it's fall, the end of summer shows and summer weather. we move on to fall tv and sweaters and boots and fighting off ragweed and seasonal depression.i was originially going to write about something else but i started watching episode 3 of glee and i couldn't resist.

back in the summer, i watched the premiere of glee and i loved it, couldn't wait for it to come back last week. after the disappointment of entourage and the last few episodes of true blood, i was really rooting for glee to restore my faith in campy television. while, it hasn't completely failed, i can feel it going down the slippery slope of another high school show, despite it's promise not to. they even mentioned their biggest problem themselves....cliches. i know it's a little too soon, but i'm not seeing many layers or much hope for them. all i see are stereotypes i've already seen before, just a conniving cheerleader, flamboyantly gay choir kid, fiesty big black girl, dumb jock, annoying choir girl. oh but that other football player is chasing cougars, original, wait i saw that in american pie. there is the pervy teacher (mean girls), the cunty wife pretending to pregnant(lindsay lohan's tv movie) and just too much unrequited love to handle. and the fact that the actor who plays finn is a mere four years younger then the teacher confirms the biggest cliche of grown ass men playing teenage boys. it feels like the writers are putting all their focus into the musical numbers and Mr. Schuester and leaving everyone else to sorta wallow in high school angst (blah).

variety warned that this would happen. BUT, i am not going to give up hope just yet. who knows, maybe the writers and producers are trying to weed out the bandwagon people, just like professors would try to scare people the first week into dropping out of class. i know that analogy doesn't make much sense for tv since its all about ads and dollars at the end of the day. but i really need to restore my faith in camp.  if not all i will be left with is mad men, something i will write about soon.

now, moving on to america's next top model. this is a show i stopped watching regularly a long time ago. however, my mom loves the show and so i watch it with her, we bond over tyra's ridiculousness. but this petite model cycle is all sorts of wrong. first of all, the majority of these girls are just short knockoffs of other people that have been on top model. second, i know with reality tv they look for crazy but these shorties are boring crazy (except for that girl who was "in love with jesus"). oh bianca is a bitch, oh the redhead is awkward. whatever. finally, tyra has gone off the wall with this "smize" shit or however you try to spell it. it's like when they shrunk the models they increased tyra's ego and absurdity. my only hope is that it will get so bad my mom will stop watching and i wont have to dvr glee anymore.and if both go down the shitter, then...i don't even know.