Friday, December 11, 2009

i was aroused, then i was furious...then i was aroused again

the jersey shore. i really thought i had seen a lot of trash tv in my lifetime. to quote the great sue sylvester, " i was aroused, then i was furious." i watched the premiere with my jaw temporarily stuck to my boobs. despite considering myself a writer, i have never been a huge grammar stickler, but even i struggled for a while with the persistent butchering of the english language and every other grammar rule in existence. i wasn't sure how to feel, was this the most disgusting two hours of television or the greatest show of my generation?

my reaction too. i know you are watching this silver fox. 


by the time the two hours had ended i made up my mind. the pros outweighed the cons. this show is a true gem. honestly, i never want this tomfuckery to end. everything from the immaculately groomed eyebrows and glossy lips, on the men of course, to the use of bumpits and zebra like hair colors is perfection. the duck phone and the nicknames, i am a sucker for nicknames. "the situation", "snooki", "sammi sweetheart", "jwwow", and the "kim kardashian of staten island" all earned spots in my heart like the liquor that coats their livers. i haven't been addicted to a show on mtv like this since i was in high school.

however, some people find this show terribly offensive to italian-americans, new jersey-ians, and humanity in general. to those people i say, STFD & STFU:

1. no one thinks these self-proclaimed "guidos & guidettes" are representative of italian-americans as a whole. every race/ethnic group has their unfavorable. latinos have chulos & chongas, white people have rednecks, black people have all those black people searching for love on vh1, the list goes on and on. and may i remind you that there are "asian guidos", "arab guidos", "greek guidos" and even "jewish guidos". i know that the term guido was an ethnic slur, but as with other derogatory terms, after a few generations, the youth, never having experienced the pain associated with the word, takes it on and gives it a whole new meaning.

the fact is, the people who fit these stereotypes do so by choice, no one forces them to be on the show, to put layers of spray tan on or blow-dry their hair to new unimaginable heights. so, to all the italian-americans who are grossly offended, as someone who is 1/8 italian (it was news to me too), i say, the only thing you can do at this point is just accept guidos/guidettes as your embarrassing cousin that you just can't take anywhere...kinda like kanye west.

2. people of new jersey, i realize only two of the cast members are actually from new jersey, thus making the ties to people of your state slightly unjust, but please shimmer down, it is a show on mtv, not exactly the source for heightened sophistication. i understand you must be still reeling from the aftermath of the real housewives of new jersey, but remember you still have the movie garden state to fairly represent you.

3. this is a reality television show!! the point is to find the most obnoxious, self-absorbed people who happen to fit a stereotype, usually by their own choice, and then put them in situations that push the limits of reality and/or absurdity. no one (in their right mind) looks to reality tv as a guide to life. yes, it is trashy, obnoxious, and at times anything but real, yet, from time to time that's exactly what viewers need. watching reality tv provides people with an easy way to escape their own lives while reminding them of how "normal" and stable they really are. reality tv is great because we can laugh at them instead of laughing at ourselves. remind us of how good we have it, except for the shows about rich people. personally, as viewer, it is effortless/mindless entertainment, after all there is only so much mad men i can watch.

in conclusion ( i feel like i've written an essay), i think people need to take the jersey shore, along with all shows in this nature, with a grain of salt. as ridiculous as their lives may seem to us it isn't as ridiculous to them. we all make lifestyle choices but not everyone's are as entertaining to watch. for most of these people/characters, they wouldn't be fun to watch by themselves or living their day life off the shore, it is the ensemble effect that creates the drama and the humor. except for snooki, i will watch her in anything. team snooki FTW!

ps. do you think the guidos realize scarface was cuban? and don't be a smart ass and tell me the original was italian b/c that is tony montana in the poster. maybe it's just a thug thing, idk.
 

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