i wish you would step off from that ledge...

okay, so despite what may have come across in my avatar post, i have always really liked james cameron's work. sure aliens and terminator scared the crap out of me but they were still awesome; and i appreciate his consistent use of strong female characters. i think i watched true lies a dozen times when i was a kid. i think he has a gift of creating fictional universes that feel so real. he is able to captivate people and move them beyond belief. literally. beyond belief. because according to cnn, people are suicidal now, all because the world of pandora doesn't exist.

"Ever since I went to see 'Avatar' I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na'vi made me want to be one of them. I can't stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it," Mike posted. "I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in 'Avatar.'

CNN: Audiences Experience 'Avatar' Blues

i know it's only tuesday but...jesus, take the wheel!

this is just ridiculous. i totally understand that people make profound personal connections with movies (its the only way to explain my love for spice world and the room.) but at the end of the day, you have to put on the breaks and remember these are movies. sure you can dissect them and analyze them to find the meanings and metaphors, but they are still movies, moving pictures, pretend, make believe, not real life! i don't even know, this is escapism gone too far. sigh, oh the humanity.

old people just don't give a shit

when people get past a certain age, before it was sixty but with botox and stuff it might have gone up to seventy, they don't give a shit anymore. they say what they want, do what they want, and don't apologize, why?...because they are old!

when my great-grandmother (who i was named after) met my father, she told him if he ever hit my mom, she would beat his ass with a baseball bat and didn't care if they'd send her to jail because she was old. he never did and even though she passed a way, rip, i'm pretty sure she'd still find away to come after him if he ever did.

today my friend sent me this story: man crashes car into restaurant, eats breakfast

basically, a 92 year old man pushed drive instead of park and crashed into a diner, instead of being fazed and concerned about the restaurant or his car, he sat down and ordered breakfast ( i hope it wasn't eggs). sure he asked if anyone was hurt, but he was probably just thinking about some warm fluffy pancakes. why? because he is old and he doesn't give a shit.

the article stated:

"Come out of his car, no problem. He sat down at the table, has his breakfast, and God bless America, beautiful,"

this was beautiful?.....um...huh?...did he sing god bless america? whose quote is this? probably someone who got hit by the car and forgot about it or just a redneck. oh well.

sometimes i wish he'd literally take the wheel, im tired of driving

today was a long day. the inefficient detective had to have surgery on her hand to correct the carpel tunnel she's had since she was pregnant with me. (sorry mom) the roads are still a mess from the blizzard so it took longer than usual to get there. when we arrived they informed us that because of swine flu people under the age of 18 could not visit. this meant i had to drive my lil bro home. after driving him home then driving back to the hospital, i was a bit exhausted. JTTW...literally, i'm tired of driving.


so, everyone at the hospital knows my mom, unfortunately everyone is actually just middle aged women and not that hot doctor who wanted to give her a spinal tap. the surgery was a quick one. when i was called back to see her in recovery she was loopy. the first thing she asked me was "how is my face?", in regards to her new foundation color. she then said "i should have bought the purple pajamas," she has her priorities for sure. i have no clue what she was talking about. i drive her home, where three of my brother's friends are in the basement. 

it's now midnight, they are all still here. my brother was able to convince my loopy mother to let him have a sleep over. i decided to make some home made eggnog, whiskey and all. i talked to my friend sammi about life, how she is spending her christmas eve, and the jersey shore. i am tipsy, so i wrote this ode to the princess of poughkipsie(i'm to lazy to google the correct spelling):

ODE TO SNOOKI

your orange skin and jet black hair, 

you are the envy of girls everywhere.

with yo backflips and pussy poppin',

you keep the jersey shore arockin'. 

whether you're italian or jewtina, it's all the same. 

queen guidette for life, don't ever change.

 for those who don't know there was an internet rumor that snooki is jewtina and therefore the imaginary lovechild of myself and my bff sammi, since it's currently impossible for us to have a love child. oh well, just another thing to add to my bucket list.


i'd like to end this post by saying RIP brittany murphy. you were in some of my favorite movies: clueless, drop dead gorgeous, freeway. you were taken too soon. that was way harsh 2009. i hope you are rollin' with the homies in heaven.

coming soon

over the last few weeks many of you (the people i know who read my blog) have commented to me via gchat, comments, etc about a phrase i use: jesus take the wheel.

 this sentence was originally in a carrie underwood song. i've never listened to it but what this phrase means to me is literally jesus take the wheel. for one reason or another a situation calls for jesus to take over because it is a mess. sometimes i realize jesus took the wheel, like on thanksgiving, i had a cold so i couldn't eat like a regular fat ass. sometimes,  jesus needed to take the wheel but decided not to, like everytime my family goes to costco or the jersey shore.

so, my friend sammi, like jesus is also a jew, suggested i do a jesus take the wheel wednesdays where i write about ridiculous things where i think "jttw".  so if you have any suggestions for topics please leave them in the comments or gchat me or text...yall know how to find me.